Learn To Resolve Conflicts Without Affecting Your Children

All quarrels are different and they can take many forms. They can range from  small disagreements to large discussions. Furthermore, they can be seriously destructive quarrels. Therefore, we will look at how you can resolve conflicts without affecting your children.

Conflicts are natural

Doctors Les and Leslie Parrot emphasize that conflicts are natural in intimate relationships. Once you know this, conflicts will stop being a crisis. Next, couples can see them as an opportunity to grow. 

If you do not have conflicts and discussions as a couple, it does not mean that you will have a great relationship in the future. In fact, there are spouses who do not want to quarrel who actually risk having unresolved discussions and conflicts. 

For Les and Leslie Parrot, couples who avoid confrontations rather than discussions often end up with “substitutes for anger” instead of dealing with their emotions. Some of these substitutes include depression, eating more than necessary and even physical illness. 

Gloria Pérez and Victoria Pérez claim in their book, Learning to live together: conflict as an opportunity for growth, that  conflicts in themselves are not positive or negative. It actually depends on how you handle them.

However, conflicts can be very damaging if you turn your attention to unimportant things,  behave irresponsibly, or say leading things. All of this can actually make things worse.

How to resolve conflicts with your partner without affecting your children

• Manage conflicts at the right time and place. For example, you have to deal with problems when the children are not at home. You must also make sure that you have enough time to discuss the problems when both you and your partner are calm.
• Keep conflicts private. Disrespectful and heated conflicts should be private. You must make sure that your children are not present.
• Consider postponing the handling of it. If one of you does not want to deal with the problem at a particular moment, consider waiting a bit. However, do not wait more than a day.
• Ask for a time out. If the discussion gets heated, remember that you can ask for a break. That way, you can both fall down before you start discussing again.

“Put your trust in the time that often gives sweet outputs at many bitter problems.”

When children are present during conflicts

Sometimes children are inevitably present when you and your partner quarrel. If this happens, it is important to follow a few steps so that you do not hurt your children.

• Explain to them as a couple that they are not the problem. Sometimes children think they are responsible for the situation when they see their parents arguing. Tell them the quarrel is just between you and it’s not about them. You must also tell them that you are trying to find a solution. There is no need to explain what the problem is.
• Be a model for them. You can turn it around so that your children see  discussions as a learning opportunity. Teach them how to resolve a conflict in a constructive way. Show them what a calm discussion based on mutual respect looks like. Next, take turns listening to each other and speaking politely to understand each other better.

Why is it so important to know how to resolve conflicts without affecting children?

It is obviously very beneficial for you and your partner to be able to solve problems in a constructive way. When you fix problems and your differences as a couple and find solutions together, you will feel more united and positive. Therefore, it will strengthen your relationship.

On the other hand, if your children see you dealing with conflicts this way, they will learn to deal with their own problems in the same way. They will learn valuable skills, such as negotiation and problem solving.

In short  , it is important to know how to resolve conflicts without affecting the children at home. When parents quarrel often or do not solve the problems, it affects their children.

It makes children more likely to have personal problems when they reach adulthood. Constructive conflict management with your partner will give your children a model to follow when it comes to having a good relationship.