It Can Help To Be Assertive Postpartum
On occasion, new mothers find it difficult to set boundaries and ask for help. They are afraid of offending others or being a burden. However, the postpartum period is a very vulnerable time for women. Being assertive is a way to take care of yourself.
Of course, it is important to always be assertive. but even more so when a woman has just given birth to a baby. The arrival of a newborn entails enormous physical and mental changes for women… as well as major changes in their responsibilities, daily routine and ability to rest.
It is an incredibly vulnerable time in a woman’s life. Therefore, it is essential to be assertive. In other words, one has to learn to set boundaries and ask for help.
As a human being, as a woman and now as a mother, you have every right to express your desires and feelings. However, one often finds it difficult to do this due to fear of appearing selfish or incompetent.
However, the birth of your new little baby and the months that follow are a challenge on many different levels. Therefore, you have to make a decision to worry more about your needs than the opinions of others.
What does it mean to be assertive?
Impact is a social habit – or a skill – that involves being able to defend one’s rights without stepping on others. It includes a wide variety of aspects that lead to a harmonious and balanced communication. For example, being assertive means:
- Communicate in an honest, clear and direct way.
- Express his wishes, opinions and feelings.
- Defend his rights and needs.
- Know how to make inquiries, as well as accept or deny claims others have to one.
- Accept compliments and deal with criticism.
- Do all of the above without fear of being convicted or rejected.
- You do not violate the rights of others or are disrespectful to them in your communication.
It is not always easy for us to put into practice. A good amount of self-esteem makes it easier for us to be able to communicate assertively. However, even then, there is a certain social pressure that exists, especially against women, to be polite, kind, and to be of service to others.
Many times, assertive attitudes and behaviors are not welcome, and they are even seen as selfish signs. In the same way, we must remember that it is our greatest responsibility to take care of ourselves, and there is nothing selfish in this.
We need to be healthy in order to take care of our new little baby. It is not okay to overlook our own needs to make other people happy.
To be assertive during the postpartum period
The arrival of a new baby is a stressful and vulnerable time in a woman’s life. Exhaustion, hormonal changes, and the fears that come with caring for a newborn are all part of this stage.
It is a very demanding period of time, on both a physical, mental and emotional level. And, many times, the behaviors, attitudes, and remarks that other people have and come up with can make the burden even harder to bear.
It is very common for family members, friends and acquaintances to be unaware of the needs and condition of a new mother. The excitement of meeting the new addition and the desire to help can, at times, lead to actions that – unintentionally – are intrusive.
When a new mother receives visitors – either at home or in the hospital – the constant flow of opinions and maternal advice can become overwhelming. However, in order not to sound rude, we hold back what we really feel and need.
At the same time, you may feel shy about asking for help with your baby or other household chores. But, taking care of a completely dependent newborn is, in itself, exhausting.
How to be assertive during the postpartum period
- You only have to receive the visitors you want – and only for as long as you want – at home and in the hospital. Do not be afraid to refuse or postpone visits, or ask visitors to leave. It’s about taking care of your own needs – as well as your baby’s. Others have to respect this.
- Make it very clear that you need to rest. If in doubt, keep in mind that these people are not the ones who have to wake up several times a night to take care of your baby.
- You should not feel that you have to do everything yourself. Asking for help does not make you rude or weak. Ask your partner to do his part, it does not make you commanding.
- Remember that you are your baby’s mother and it is you who decides who should take care of him or her. You decide whether to breastfeed or bottle feed, sleep together or sleep separately, use a stroller or baby carrier, etc. You should not take orders from others and you should not be afraid to stand firm if someone is intrusive. If you need advice, you can ask for it (from those you want) or talk to a specialist.
Are you pregnant now?
In conclusion, if you are going to have a baby, prepare yourself to give yourself the space you deserve (and need!). Forget about social scruples and customs. What matters is your baby and your needs.
You must not lose sight of your rights, and you must not be afraid to defend them assertively when necessary. Do not let anyone stop you from enjoying this precious and important time in your family’s life.
