Personal Well-being: The Most Important Condition For Having A Child

The ideal circumstances to have a child? It’s not just about having a partner. The most basic and unconditional condition is that you have a good personal well-being.

You need to be someone with content. A person who takes care of himself and at the same time is willing to give the best to his children.

In our society, a classical, traditional and often even patriarchal perspective still exists. This view still maintains the idea that every child entering the world needs a mother and a father as role models. Of course, we all know that getting things done  is more satisfying than raising a child with the person you love.

But if there is no harmony in the relationship, then none of that makes sense. Few things can be more sad than having a mother or father who is dysfunctional, irregular, or clearly emotionally or psychologically immature.

Having children can sometimes be extremely natural. But what is not always so easy is to make the child become a person with a healthy self-esteem. Raising a child who is confident, decent, courageous, able to be happy and also make others happy is not an easy task.

Therefore, there is no greater role model than a parent who is happy and able to share his values ​​with this new life. The values ​​that have created you into a strong and contented person will also help you guide your child –   with or without a partner.

At  “Børnenesverden” we want to invite you to reflect on this with us.

Happy parents, healthy children?

Happy parents, happy children? There are some aspects of this statement that are likely to be true. But something we need to keep in mind is that  happiness is a condition, a condition that comes and goes. It embraces us in some cases and then it lets us go and put us under a test in hard times.

More than just happy fathers and mothers,  what our children need are people with adequate emotional, psychological strength and personal well-being. Let’s take a closer look at this.

Our human warmth

Human warmth does not come from our personal ID. It’s not like a program was installed in our internal hard drive at a factory, but something people with personal well-being have. Human warmth is something that is forged over time through very concrete aspects:

• Through feelings of respect, reciprocity, empathy and consideration.

• Through the healthy development of a strong identity and a good self-esteem, which at the same time allows you to respect other identities.
• At the same time,  human warmth has another purpose, which is to promote goodness. To be humble and have the best interests of others in mind. It is to be strong but always dedicate time to those around you.

Our personal story and how we confront it

We are not a result of our past, but rather of how we have chosen to deal with our  past. A father or a mother is much more than what we see at first glance. Behind each one are thousands of hidden challenges that they have had to overcome. There are personal battles, fears and endless victorious battles.

All this is  “added value”.   It is the energy that teaches us that  we do not need much to be happy: we just need people close to us who love us  .

With or without a partner: What matters most is, personal well-being, that we love ourselves, to love our children

If a person is unable to love himself, then he ends up underprioritizing his own needs for others. All of these deficiencies can cause serious side effects when it comes to motherhood or fatherhood.

Parents who do not love themselves tend to become controlling and favor a parenting style that is bad for their children.

• Fathers and mothers who do not love themselves can end up creating an unhealthy and neurotic attachment to their children. In addition to being controlling, they will also be distracting and prone to major emotional ups and downs. These factors can have serious consequences for their child’s psychological development

Love yourself to love others

Loving yourself is not a form of selfishness. This is something we need to make clear right away. We all have the right to give ourselves what we deserve, to fight for what we want and to preserve our personal well-being and dignity.

All of this makes us fathers and mothers worthy of having children. When we take care of ourselves, we are able to give the best of ourselves to our children.

Whether you have a partner or not, the most important thing is that you take care of yourself. We have to deal with our emotional shortcomings, our insecurities and our fears every day.

When you do,  you will show your children someone worth imitating. Your children will see one, with great personal well-being that they can trust, look up to and that they can learn from every single day.