Raising A Child Alone: ​​Difficult But Wonderful Experience

Raising a child alone is not the end of the world . There are many fathers and mothers who want to do this. But on the other hand, there are also others who come face to face with this challenge after being abandoned by their partner or losing their loved one.

But no matter what: raising a child while you are single is a complex experience, but it can be the best experience of your life.

It is true that until not so long ago it was seen as a bad thing to have and raise a child alone. But today, a lot has changed. There are those who choose it, who want to have this experience without a partner, and who do not want to share parenting with another. This is a choice that more and more people are making today.

But on the other hand, and perhaps in greater quantities, there are those who have just been abandoned by their partner, who had promised them love and partnership forever, right up until the pregnancy occurred. When faced with something like this, only the brave, and those who understand responsibility and compassionate love, can confront it – not out of commitment, but by feeling the desire to do so.

Either way, it is not our purpose to dive into the reasons why a mother (sometimes a father) should fulfill both roles. Today at Børnenes Verden we will talk about strategies that can help you in everyday life. These tips can also help you become stronger so you can live out the best time of your life.

The Truth About Raising A Child Alone

The truth about raising a child alone is simple: It’s hard. Others may see a brave woman. A mother who always smiles when she takes care of her child. But a lot of things are going on inside. Lots of thoughts and feelings that we will reflect on.

The fear of not being able to handle it

A mother who raises her child alone gives the best of herself to her baby or children. It makes her happy when she sees them sleeping sweetly in their beds. But it is normal for her to wake up several times during the night with a chest pain.

• The anxiety and fear are there… and what if I can not handle it all? What if I get fired this month? What if I have to ask my parents for help again? What if my child gets sick again? What will they say at work? 
• It is normal to have thoughts like these. It is not an irrational fear. It is true fear that a mother raising her children alone will experience more than once. But there is always a new day and you will achieve amazing things every day.

When to be “mom” and “dad” at the same time

This is a very common mistake that many mothers and fathers make when raising their children alone: ​​they think they have to fill both roles at the same time.

• We need to make something very simple quite clear: for our children, we are everything. There is no need to fill the classic roles with a disciplined father who works and a stay-at-home mom who is warm and loving. We have to accept that both men and women are capable of doing all these things.
• Both men and women can be someone you trust, they can be mentors, they can set boundaries, learn what is right and wrong, and they can be the child’s greatest source of love… they can be anything.

Single mothers also need a social life

A mother who has to raise a child alone runs the risk of focusing all her attention, her senses, thoughts and worries on her child so that she forgets everything about herself.

• Be careful with this approach. You may end up developing depression if you do not take care of yourself, or have small moments where you relax and enjoy your social life.
• Let your family help you. Rest once in a while and accept the support you receive.
•  Create a good network of friends. People who can give you adequate emotional relief that you can laugh with, go on vacation with and share experiences with.

Do not be afraid to meet other people or potential partners. Just because you are a single mom does not mean you can no longer be available in the market. You can find love if that’s what you want.

The absent father figure and how we should talk to our children about it

Your child will sooner or later ask for their absent parent. For their sake, and for their proper emotional development, we advise against conveying a sharp hatred to that figure, or that one “idealizes”. 

• Children need honesty, and they need an emotional calm where hatred and unfounded ideas have not yet developed.
• You need to convey maturity and balance, and teach your child that your family is a good team and that you two should manage.
• Being a single parent is not easy and every day is a challenge. But the bond you make with your child is wonderful, and it’s something you should be proud of every single day: that you’re doing a phenomenal job.